So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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