Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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