I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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