Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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