I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
