is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
