i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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