she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
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I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
please don't ironically join a cult
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