One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
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once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
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hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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