I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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