You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
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Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
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our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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