So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
