I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
