Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
