At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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