my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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