the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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