I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize