yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
