Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
