Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It's blow job season.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
