he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
