it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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