This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
