I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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