All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Everyone says I win the strip club
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
