went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
