that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize