I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
