There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize