My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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