hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
