you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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