I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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