You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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