I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
