you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
