Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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