I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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