I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
