no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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