I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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