Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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