so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
