He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
