Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
