I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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