Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
