At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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