We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
