onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
