omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
