Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
