No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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