none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
