saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
