Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize